I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
