Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize