some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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