Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
