i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
