the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize