worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
