is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
