Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
