Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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