so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
