Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
