Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize