College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize