Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i've created a new STD.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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