I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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