This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
