peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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