fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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