I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I didn't notice because vodka
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
