HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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