how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
