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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move

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• (310): View more from California

  A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.

  (623): View more from Arizona

  and by single i mean slutty

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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• (310): View more from California

  If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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• (310): View more from California

  Just called the consul general of France "dude"

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  If this party got busted it would be an improvement

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison

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• (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.

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