I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize