I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
