Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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