Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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