I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
