I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize