apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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