i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
