Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
