dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
