Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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