God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
