I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
