I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
