I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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