dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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