Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
