took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
