Jerry, you need to find god
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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