I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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