i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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