When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
