she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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