ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
