just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
