end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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