Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
