youre lurking in front of me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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