oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
