i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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