Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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