You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
