I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
