shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
