When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
