No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
