69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
