I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
